Internet ho, ho...ho?

Some people no doubt raise an eyebrow that North American Air Defense Command, or NORAD, for the 49th consecutive year is undertaking the annual task of tracking the global progress of Santa Claus starting Dec. 24 and continuing through the early hours of Christmas Day. Rest assured that Santa certainly knows who you are and has duly placed you upon the infamous "naughty" list. And so close to his yearly visit. Tsk. Tsk.

"Our tax dollars at work," various of you have been heard to comment. "Shouldn't they be keeping an eye on North Korea?" others have asked with dripping sarcasm. It should be noted that the fine points of the NORAD Santa-tracking Web site are handled by corporate sponsors and that the tracking itself is done on a volunteer basis so as not to ignore North American air defense during prime Santa hours. The Santa tracking site is in English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and Japanese, at http://www.noradsanta.org, and there also is a phone line available from 7 a.m. Dec. 24 through 1 a.m. Dec. 25, mountain standard time: 877-446-6723 (877-HI-NORAD).

Beatle (WorldBeat believes one cannot be a "former" Beatle -- once a Beatle, always a Beatle) Ringo Starr is this year's honorary Santa Tracker. As such, he received training in "tracking techniques" and "has become an expert in the use of the SantaCam," according to the NORAD Santa Web site. As an added bonus, the Web site offers music by Ringo.

"Santa and I are personal friends. He's asked me to do this special job with this incredibly new SantaCam and I'll be tracking him as he comes over Great Britain," Ringo said in a statement at the NORAD Santa site. "Children will see amazing things. I'm privileged to be one of the Santa Trackers."

NORAD uses radar, satellites, SantaCams and jet fighter aircraft to track Santa. NORAD uses its 47 installations across northern Canada and Alaska to track Santa, closely checking radar for indications that Santa has departed the North Pole. To borrow a phrase from humorist Dave Barry: We are not making this up. These details all are supplied on the NORAD Santa Web site.

As soon as NORAD notices that Santa is airborne, it tracks his progress via geosynchronous orbit, which the Web site says is "a cool phrase meaning that the satellite is always fixed over the same spot on the Earth." The satellites are 22,300 miles above the planet and have infrared sensors that detect the "infrared signature similar to a missile launch" given off by Rudolph's nose. For those not initiated in Santa lore, Rudolph is the red-nosed reindeer who leads the sleigh-pulling.

"It is important to note, however, that our scientists have tried to determine the chemical process that occurs that creates the heat that is generated by Rudolph's nose but they have not been able to thus far," the Web site says.

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