The Weekly Hash - January 25, 2013

Making fun of some of the top - or goofiest - tech stories of the past seven days, this week featuring the latest in Cuban underwater cable-laying technology, what Twitter and Beyonce had in common during the presidential inauguration and John Boehner’s new look

012413_jobs_poaching-small.jpgITworld/Phil Johnson
It wasn't just Palm that Steve Jobs threatened over poaching

Here endeth another wacky week, which included a certain someone’s new bangs at the presidential inauguration, Katie Couric interviewing a Heisman finalist about his non-existant dead girlfriend and NASA firing up an Apollo-era rocket, which was oldest thing to get that fired up since Brent Musburger spotted Ms. Alabama.

Anyway, let’s bring the week to a close with some topical tech humor...

It was revealed this week that in 2007 Steve Jobs threatened Palm with a patent lawsuit if they didn’t promise not to poach Apple employees. Palm ignored the threat and the good news is they were never sued. The bad news is they got stuck with all of Apple’s stylus engineers.

After Saturday, it will be illegal to unlock your smartphone. Unauthorized unlocking of your phone could result in a hefty fine or being sentenced to up to 10 years with AT&T.

Twitter reported outages during Monday’s presidential inauguration. The only thing quieter during the inauguration was Beyonce.

Google, Facebook and a number of other tech companies were among the top corporate spenders on government lobbying in 2012. Here's how much tech companies have spent on lobbying: enough so that John Boehner now shows up to Congress in a hoodie.

500,000 users registered with Kim Dotcom’s new file sharing site, Mega, within hours after it was launched on Sunday. Unfortunately for Kim Dotcom 490,000 of those users were FBI agents.

Cuba is now using an underwater fiber-optic cable to Venezuela to access the Internet. They started laying the cable in 2007 using a ‘38 Oldsmobile.

Drexel University has installed vending machines that dispense laptops. The new vending machines are much more successful than the old ones that dispensed desktops.

On Thursday Twitter launched a mobile video sharing service called Vine, which allows users to share 6 second long videos. Even people with ADD think that’s too short.

Later this year Dell is planning to release a computer that’s 3.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. The marketing slogan for it is “Size doesn’t matter.”

Trend Micro predicted this week that the number of distinct Android malware specimens will reach 1 million this year. That averages out to one distinct malware specimen per version of Android.

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