The Weekly Hash - August 24, 2012

A review of some of the top tech stories for the past week, with tongue planted firmly somewhere near cheek.

082412_assange_small.jpgITworld/Phil Johnson

To celebrate Friday, here at #Tech we’re trying something new: a review of some of the top tech stories of the past week. Hopefully, you'll find it informative, entertaining or, at the very least, a good way to pass the time until Happy Hour. If it works (meaning I don’t get fired), we may try it again next week.

Are you buckled in? OK, here we go, in no particular order...

A South Korean court has ruled that both Apple and Samsung infringed each other patents. Patent trials between the two companies are continuing in both the U.S. and Australia and they’ve announced plans for a South American patent trial tour this fall.

The hacker group Anonymous attacked several U.K. government web sites this week as part of Operation Free Assange. With all due respect, the Anonymous folks are a bit nuts; in addition to wanting Julian Assange freed, they say they're also demanding his seven Tour de France victories be reinstated.

The FCC reported that 19 million Americans have no access to broadband internet, down from 26 million a year ago. Or, in other words, 19 million Americans either had no or really slow access to naked pictures of Prince Harry playing strip billiards in Las Vegas this week.

eBay has banned the sale of “intangibles” such as curses, prayers, hexes, conjurings, potions, and advice. Great. I guess when I need cheap advice now it’s back to fortune cookies or Dr Phil.

The judge overseeing Oracle’s lawsuit against Google says that Google failed to comply with his order to disclose the names of people it's paid to comment on the case. He’s ordered them to try again; in an effort to comply, Google said if the judge can guess the first letters of their paid commenters' names they’ll fill in the rest.

AT&T senior VP Bob Quinn responded this week to criticism over requiring customers to buy a Mobile Share plan in order to use FaceTime in iOS 6 over cellular by saying they’re doing it over concerns about its effect on their network. He also said if you believe that he’s got some spells he’d like to sell you over on eBay.

Happy birthday to Linux, which turns 21 on Saturday! Amazing. Linux is still going strong at 21. Meanwhile, Fortran is getting up three times a night to urinate.

Kariem McFarlin, the man accused of breaking into Steve Jobs’ house and stealing his iPad, iMac and wallet, was in court this week, but didn’t enter a plea. He didn’t help his case when he appeared in court dressed in jeans and a black mock turtleneck.

The FBI announced on Tuesday that they’ve seized three web sites for allegedly distributing illegal copies of Android apps. Those running the sites are facing five years in prison, a $250,000 fine and being forced to create a site offering Windows 8 Phone apps.

The Mars Curiosity rover had a successful test drive on Wednesday, driving 15 feet without incident. NASA now hopes to do the same with Lindsay Lohan.

Why don’t we just stop here and cut our losses, mmm-kay?

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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