Warning: This brief post may make you nauseous

Don't blame me after you read it and can't get the image out of your head

Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer on Monday gave what is expected to be the software giant's last keynote speech at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, an event covered in great detail by IDG News Service's James Niccolai.

While Ballmer cleared missed a great opportunity by not announcing Microsoft was relaunching its beloved Zune music player, he did tell celebrity interviewer Ryan Seacrest and a roomful of attendees that "just as (Windows) Connect revolutionized entertainment, we'll see it revolutionize other industries -- education, health care and many, many more."

Humble as always, but at least Ballmer's shirt was uncharacteristically dry. It's always been an unpleasant experience watching the sweat-drenched CEO stomping around on a stage, bellowing and bragging about how great Microsoft products are.

Not nearly as unpleasant an image, though, as the one I'm about to plant in your brain, courtesy of Huffington Post's Peter Goodman, who opened his coverage of Ballmer's keynote with this paragraph:

Listening to Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer last night hyperventilate about the company's supposedly stupendous future as purveyor of the planet's life-altering experiences was not unlike watching a heavyset, middle-aged guy strutting through a pulsating club, telling all the slinky, 20-something women how hot he looks in a Speedo.

Steve Ballmer in a Speedo. That's the kind of thing that should stay in Vegas.

Don't say you weren't warned. I know this was mean of me, but I'm not suffering alone.

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