Apple makes a big BIG deal out of very little to get business buyers to its App Store

Big Steve to open a volume purchasing window in Apps store to reduce inconvenience, not add discounts.

ATTENTION COMPUTER USERS:

[Please note disclaimers for details.]

Big News, From Big Steve at Friendly Apple Computer Stores :

For all his Big Fans, Big Steve has decided to offer SPECIAL DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE WHOLESALE PRICES Software Downloads FOR ALL THE BUSINESS APPS YOU NEED

[All the apps currently offered at the same prices set under Apple's Volume Purchase Program that also pass Big Steve's personal criteria for approving the functions, images and moral tone appropriate for you].

You already know and love Big Steve's Big, Big Deals on the computer products you need to make your life worth living!

Monitors! Desktops! Laptops! iPhones! iPads!iTouches! iClouds! i[All other available nouns (tm)]!

And now....SOFTWARE!‼! IN BULK‼‼

NOW GET ALL THE COPIES OF ALL THE APPS YOU NEED IN ONE PLACE AT ABSOLUTELY THE BEST PRICES YOU CAN FIND ANYWHERE [Because we don't allow anyone else to set prices or sell the products.]

That's right! Big Steve is knocking the walls out of his Big Apple Software Warehouse and letting you in to buy ALL YOUR BUSINESS APPS AT CRRRRRAZZZY PRICES.

[See note above about Volume Purchase Program (VPP) prices and terms; prices are defined as 'crazy' because they're set by one company with no direct competition within the Big Steve Apple (tm) market(tm). ]

NO MORE BUYING YOUR APPS ONE BY ONE!

Need an App? Come to the App Store! Search for it! Pay for it! Get your app!

Need 100 copies of the same App?

GET 100 COPIES ALL AT THE SAME TIME! [VPP purchase does not provide unlimited copies of apps. VPP purchasers receive transaction codes redeemable one by one to users to whom they are given; a Third-party Mobile Device Management apps are available to track redemption codes and availability.]

No more going through THE App Store 100 times!

  • Go to the App Store!
  • Search for your App!
  • Pay for your app! [With a corporate credit card!]
  • Download as many copies as you want! [Bulk purchases allow a single payment for many apps; Apple does not imply or guarantee discounts for bulk purchases bought through the VPP.]

How do you do it?! Download the GUIDE to VOLUME PURCHASING PARADISE!

You can even find THIRD-PARTY B2B APPS‼

Just REGISTER [At an unnamed date in the near future; Apple's VPP is not yet available.], SEARCH [First download and install iTunes even if you have no other earthly need for it.] then BUY, BUY, BUY‼‼[Seriously; no disclaimers on that. Buy everything. Buy lots of everything. We won't stop you.]

"Unleash the power of the App Store to your entire workforce ." [Direct quote from the announcement page. Don't blame us if you buy 100 copies of an app on your corporate credit card and someone in Sales buys 100 copies of the same app on a different card. We get the money either way. When it happens, call us about it and we'll talk. We're famous for our flexibility and customer service.]

COMING SOON ! [Eventually.]

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