Keep your rich, square-jawed chins up, Winklevii!

Plucky twins must learn to live within means of $65 million Facebook settlement

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss
Credit: Stephen Lam/Reuters

Anyone is welcome to peruse this blog post, but I'm hoping two people in particular read it: Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss.

No doubt your decision to forego an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court of your previously agreed-upon $65 million settlement with Facebook and its "founder," the feral Mark Zuckerberg, was not made lightly.

(Also see: In defense of the Winklevoss twins)

You've long maintained that Zuck stole your idea for Facebook while all of you were toiling away at Harvard several years ago, and the fact that he consented to a multimillion-dollar settlement lends indirect credence to your contention.

Your argument that you were low-balled in the original settlement is a powerful one, based on the wild valuations being bandied about for the social networking company, which last I checked were up to $100 bazillion, based on the estimates of self-interested, media-manipulating shills "people familiar with the matter."

One can only imagine how it feels to have a formerly trusted partner shiv you not once, but twice. Which actually averages out to one shiv per Winklevoss, by my math. So if you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

Still, for whatever reasons -- a desire for closure, a pending regatta, a sane attorney -- you have decided to look forward, and not back.

Congratulations. That is the first step toward recovering from adversity. Now you need specific goals. Here are a few options you might consider:

Acting: You both bear a more-than-passing resemblance to a young Mitt Romney. My Hollywood contacts inform me that a Romney biopic is in the works at this very moment!

Don't worry if neither of you have any acting talent. In fact, the more unnatural and stiff you are before the camera, the more you will be able to capture the vaunted Romney magic.

And here's a selling point for the casting agents that should "seal the deal" for you: Given Romney's legendary waffling and inability to adhere to one policy position, it will take two actors to portray the former Massachusetts governor and ardent advocate/foe of Obamacare.

Politics: At age 29, neither of you are old enough to run for the presidency. Which is a shame, since your hardscrabble journey from a childhood home in Greenwich, Conn. -- Greenwich Country Day School, studies in Latin and Ancient Greek, crew, Harvard, the Olympics -- is a made-for-the-hustings bootstrapping story.

Of course, there's always the U.S. Senate. You have to be 30 to run for that, but you guys hit the big 3-0 in August (sorry for the reminder). Even better, each state requires two senators! And there are two of you! Who the hell knows where you even live now, but wherever that is, I'm sure the incumbents will gladly step aside. No one wants to be perceived as obstructing greatness.

If "public service" isn't your bag, you could always be a kingmaker. I hear this guy is looking for some fund-raising help, and he's a virtual lock for the GOP nomination.

Entrepreneurism: You're also both naturals for the private sector, having already come up with a $100 bazillion business idea. Why not keep playing that hand? Indeed, you, Cameron, already have an IPO-in-waiting with your Guest of a Guess, a website that chronicles the "people, places and parties" of New York.

One word of advice, though: Keep an eye on your GofG cofounder, Rachelle Hruska. She seems like a nice young woman based on her site bio. But if she begins avoiding your emails and wearing hoodies into the office ... I'm just sayin'.

Good luck, Winklevii. And remember, it's not how many times you get knocked down that matters. It's how many millions you still have when you get back up.

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