Mark Zuckerberg: 'I’m outta here'

Rumors are swirling that Facebook's CEO plans to leave at the end of this year and take a vow of anti-social behavior. TY4NS investigates.

In a surprise announcement, Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg has indicated his intention to leave the world’s biggest social network at the end of this year.


“It’s really a combination of things – the constant battles over user privacy, the notoriety from that movie [The Social Network], the pressure from outside investors to hire professional management – they all add up,” said one source who requested anonymity. “You have to remember that most kids his age are still working at Starbucks.”

Apparently, rumors about Zuckerberg’s intention to leave began after a recent meeting of Facebook’s executive council. When VP Chris Cox asked him about his future plans, Zuckerberg reportedly said, “I’m outta here.”

[ See also: Today’s Facebook forecast: Cloudy with a chance of girlfriends ]

According to inside sources, Zuckerberg has fallen under the influence of an Eastern mystic named S. Al-Sala-mi, who advises a lifestyle of strict asceticism and meditative solitude. Al-Sala-mi has been urging America’s second youngest billionaire to abandon his wealth and his Facebook friends, and undertake a vow of anti-social behavior.

Facebook did not respond to requests for comment.

ITworld TY4NS blogger Dan Tynan is not planning to take a vow of anti-social behavior, though if he did you probably woudn’t be able to tell the difference. Enjoy more posts of questionable pedigree at eSarcasm (Geek Humor Gone Wild) or follow him on Twitter:@tynan_on_tech.

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