Microsoft commands you to suck; Avatar self improvement; World's oldest dog mess

An unusually idiotic day in science and technology

Microsoft commands you to suck!

Microsoft suggests remote-controlled ticks, nematodes, rounworms, pinworms, whipworms and more other bloodsuckers and worms than you want to know about can be be used to make the victim healthier, although far, far lonelier.

Virtual self can affect reality self

Game geeks create avatars that are cooler than they are; does it work the other way? Only in cosplay.

Light up your grill!


You're not looking hard enough for the dipstick

Some current Mercedes models do not have dipsticks. When the oil gets low, the owner gets an email.

Obviously, doing it the Norway is wrong

Russian proclaimed as 'Norwegian of the Year' to be deported.

No more ski lifts

If you're one of us sane people who know ski lifts are the only really scary thing in skiing, try this.

What's the problem with this headline:

The first single-fingered dinosaur

Doesn't say which finger. Or mention how rude dinosaurs can be.

Prehistoric pooper scooper

Researchers found the oldest confirmed remains of a domesticated dog outside a cave in southwest Texas. Its behavior is more clearly similar to modern dogs than that of the previous record holder, whose bones were found just lying around at a site in Switzerland.

The Texas remains were also pretty inactive, but were located after researchers followed a trail of waste matter outside the cave. Bad wolf!

Dating sheds new light on dawn of the dinosaurs

Also on whether spending all your late nights with old bones is really worth it.

Dino-era sex riddle solved by new fossil find

"Ancient fossil...has allowed scientists for the first time to sex pterodactyls."

Paleontologists suffer gigantic deflation of respect.

Kevin Fogarty writes about enterprise IT for ITworld. Follow him on Twitter @KevinFogarty.

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