Facebook is down down down; film at 11

Facebook is down. Also, the InterWebs are melting. Here are a few wildly speculative guesses as to why. UPDATE: Official response from Facebook.

As I write this, Facebook appears to be totally down. Unresponsive to external stimuli. In a persistent vegitative state. And I hear from my Twitter peeps it's been sickly most of the day. The Facebook blog is similarly bereft of life. Call it Faceplant.

According to the site DownRightNow, Facebook is likely experiencing a "service disruption" (duh) which seems to have started roughly 90 minutes ago. Readers of Center Networks are reporting sporadic outages across the world. Some are reporting that Digg is also down. (One can only hope.)

[ See also: Yes, Mr. Zuckerberg, we do care about privacy ]

For what it's worth, this is the third or fourth major site outage I've personally encountered over the last 24 hours. And Google seems particularly sluggish today as well.

In the spirit of rampant speculation that has made the InterWebs what it is today, let me posit a few theories.

1. Facebook just logged its 500,000,001st registered user and its servers burst like a pinata.

2. Those Twitter worm dudes decided to bring their act over to FB.

3. 4chan. They got bored with pwning the RIAA and the Tea Party and decided to take on Facebook. Those nutty Net pranksters -- what will they think of next?

4. It's the Mayan prophecy. The world is ending, only somebody totally misread the calendar. (Apparently the Mayan ideographs for "2012" and "2010" look a lot alike when carved into an adobe wall.)

5. Zuckerberg's revenge. You want to make a mean-spirited movie about how he stole the idea for Facebook? Fine. He'll take his social network with him and go home.

Meanwhile, the ABC News affiliate in Tampa offers up five things you can do while you wait for Facebook to be revived, including create a Twitter account, go to the movies, or bake a quiche.

I'm sorry, but real men don't create Twitter accounts. We already have them.

I'll update this blog post with actual information, once I have some.

UPDATE: Here's the official word from an official Facebook spokeshuman: "We are experiencing an issue with a third party networking provider that is causing problems for some people trying to connect to Facebook. We are in contact with this provider in order to explore what can be done to resolve the issue. In the meantime, we are working on deploying changes to bypass the affected connections." There. That should clear everything up. Right?

ITworld TY4NS blogger Dan Tynan takes no responsibility for Facebook's downtime. Follow his unique brand of juvenile humor at eSarcasm (Geek Humor Gone Wild) and on Twitter: @tynan_on_tech.

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