Apple does something!!!

Something so exciting you won't believe it; you'll never be the same.

It would be a shame if Apple, with its talent for barefaced, manipulative self-promotion did not make beautiful, interesting hardware.

If not it would be the 11-couple clod-fest that is the season's first episode of "Dancing With the Stars," not "Burn the Floor."

Of course, it's still not Baryshnikov, unless the former Kirov Ballet master would stop between astonishing leaps to yell "Hey! Watch this next astonishing leap!"

Apple's version is to change its home page so the only direct option is to read the message that:

    1. It has news so exciting and important that it's using its most-important real estate to communicate it; and 2. It will tell you the rest tomorrow.

Which is not only childish, it clearly doesn't work as a way to manipulate a tech-savvy global news corps.

Of the 311 stories with nearly identical headlines on Google News at 2 p.m. today many didn't even quote directly from the Apple teaser. In the headline.

Whatever the world-shaking news is -- all-you-can-eat-iTunes subscriptions? The release of iOS 3.2? Cloud-based streaming media and apps? -- it's certain to be world shaking. It's certain because "What we're sure of is, Steve Jobs doesn't hype something so much unless it's totally revolutionary and a breakthrough," according to one site filled with hard-eyed analysis.

Of course, Apple's shameless hucksterism is completely different from anything you'd see in the businessmarket. Apple sells hardware to businesses.

Or, this might all be just another waste of public bandwidth by an electronics vendors desperately (and successfully) hoping customers will pay attention to the glamour, not the product, so it can squeeze a few more dollars out of their wallets before they look to decide whether they want the thing they're about to buy, let alone whether it's worth the money.

Kevin Fogarty writes about enterprise IT for ITworld. Follow him on Twitter @KevinFogarty.

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