How AOL is like the Chum Bucket

Like Spongebob's tiny villain Plankton, CEO Tim Armstrong expresses delusions of grandeur

This just cracks me up. I was researching my previous post about comScore's latest quarterly online display advertising stats and ran across a TechCrunch post from Nov. 3 about comments made by AOL chief executive Tim Armstrong during last week's third-quarter earnings call. Here's the quote:

"AOL’s approach is to be competitive with Google and Facebook. We are are not focused on being competitive with people further down the chain." He's kidding, right? AOL is on the verge of irrelevance. It's going in the wrong direction. Ad revenue in Q3 was down 27 percent. The company has a market cap of $2.7 billion, compared to Google's $154 billion. Even Yahoo, the downmarket company Armstrong doesn't deign to name -- and which AOL is rumored to have designs on -- is about eight times bigger than AOL. But don't worry. All of that will change once AOL steals the secret formula for Krabby Patties. Then the Chum Bucket will finally put the thriving Krusty Krab out of business once and for all. And Plankton will rule the world! Not only that, the 1-7 Dallas Cowboys have one goal and one goal only: a Super Bowl berth. You just have to believe!

Chris Nerney writes about the business side of technology market strategies and trends, legal issues, leadership changes, mergers, venture capital, IPOs and technology stocks. Follow him on Twitter @ChrisNerney.

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