Questions even dumber than even your help desk gets

"If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?"

Every year Butterball releases a list of stupid questions people call in to its turkey-cooking help desk, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line.

This year's Reuters' story about it has a series of ironic pictures, including one of Barack Obama appearing to bless rather than pardon the National Amnesty Turkey (which was named "Courage"); a guy inexplicably wearing a turkey hat; and Calista Flockhart (relentlessly gossiped into eventually admitting she once psychopathologically did not eat) serving turkey to other people.

The Butterball help desk is staffed, according to Butterball, by "more than 50 professionally trained, college-educated home economists and nutritionists" who answer more than 100,000 questions in November and December.

The FAQ is disappointingly mundane, I'm guessing because it's not polite to insult your customers directly. Better to collect the dumbest questions and send them out in a press release and let the media do it for you.

Kevin Fogarty writes about enterprise IT for ITworld. Follow him on Twitter @KevinFogarty.

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