Tale from the trenches: I had an important meeting scheduled with our VP in California over videoconference. Normally, I insist on all meetings between 9 and 5, but we had to move this one at the last minute. As a result, I ended up having a 5:30 meeting on a night when my husband was out of town.
I picked up the kids early from preschool, took them to the office, printed pictures for them to color, piled snacks in front of them and set up an episode of "Jake and the Never Land Pirates" for them to watch on my tablet in an adjacent conference room. I then video-called into the conference.
I was supposed to present two or three slides in the 20-slide deck. As I started on my first slide, I heard screaming and the door burst open. The video had frozen. I handed off the slide to a colleague, fixed the video and returned to the conference. Then it happened again. I swapped the tablet for a laptop and, again, returned to the meeting.
Not two minutes later, there was a louder scream as my 5-year-old burst in, yelling, "I peed! I peed!" I left the meeting, cleaned her up and tried one more time. Then I heard the combined screams as my daughter tackled my 2-year-old son -- he wanted to leave the room and I had instructed her not to let him. At that point, I gave up and left the meeting for the final time.
I was by far the most flustered by this. My teammates and VP were all very supportive.
Tech to balance work and life: Google Calendar helps me stay on top of the kids' schedule. If it's not in the calendar, there is zero chance I will remember it. I also use WhatsApp almost daily with my mother-in-law. She loves getting pictures of the kids and I love sending them.
Advice: Be strict and clear about your working hours. If you sometimes take meetings after 5, or you occasionally email at night, people will expect that. If you never do, people learn to plan around it. You can work at night, just don't do it publicly.