You are what you Google

Lord help you once the Internet thinks it knows what you want

By Phil Johnson

October 10, 2012, 11:48 AM —

Even my own personal website is trying to sell me an old person's phone

Phil Johnson

I’m 42 years old and there is no shortage of evidence that I’m aging quickly. My diminished hearing, my need for reading specs and my newfound fondness for cardigan sweaters all point to a serious case of “middle agedness.” Between these things and my kids (“Hey, look at Dad’s bald spot!”) I don’t need any more reminders that AARP membership isn’t far off.

Now, in addition to the ample signs of my advancing age, the Internet is all of a sudden rubbing salt in the wound. Recently, I noticed that many of the web sites that I was visiting had something in common:

ITworld/Phil Johnson

See a theme here? That’s right, the Internet has determined that I am prime candidate for a Jitterbug phone! Now, it’s true I do get up more often at night to go number one, but I can still work my iPhone just fine. I’m not yet ready for the bare bones, big numbered cell phone with a panic button on the back to use in case I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

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Phil Johnson is a writer and editor for ITworld.com, after having survived 17 years in the corporate wild as a software/web developer, technical lead and project manager. Along the way he also used to write monologue jokes for David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno.

In his spare time these days, when he's not chauffeuring his daughters to and from school, lessons and Justin Bieber movies (ugh), he enjoys drawing cartoons, tweeting about his life and taking pictures of cranes.