Smartphone cameras will crash the cloud, smother the Internet

Gartner: Consumers will embrace cloud (then smother it with LOLcats and 'funny' pictures)

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A study released by Gartner, Inc. yesterday shows definitively that by 2016 the IT infrastructure of the entire world will be jammed so full of duckfaces, LOL(ish) cats, Like!-able kids and giant libraries filled withmultiple copies of the same mislabeled music files that the flow of actual information will slow to a stop.

Worse, so much of that data will be stored in the public cloud that it will become common for huge chunks of data-cloud to break off the main body of the cloud like gargantuan icebergs splitting from the Arctic glacial sheets and floating away to melt.

Except, chunks of cloud won't float away. They'll crash to Earth, setting off user-complaint shrieks the likes of which you have never heard, spraying entire metro areas with party-pick shrapnel crushing unimaginable numbers of smartphone users too intent on finding a good signal so they can upload their latest pics to see their ironically appropriate doom plunging toward them.

It really is a pretty dramatic story, if you read between the lines a bit.

If you only read the lines that are actually present, prospects for the future are much worse:

In 2011 consumers worldwide could claim only 329 exabytes of data. By 2016 that number will have grown to 4.1 zettabytes (3,728,924,999.68 terabytes, of which 1,342,407,966.72 terabytes will be stored in the cloud).

Why is it a disaster that consumers are willing to use the cloud?

The apocalypse that will destroy us all will have nothing to do with having our sweetbreads gnawed by zombies, being ray-gunned by aliens or following dinosaurs toward the giant museum-display-case in the sky after a giant meteor strike.

No, humanity won't meet its fate with a bang, or even a CRASH, zzzaappp or nom, as the case might have been.

We will smother under choking piles of poor photography and mountainous examples of poor data management.

Photo Credit: 

icanhascheezburger.com

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