How to network: 12 tips for shy people

Networking is the key to success in business, says Keith Ferrazzi, business
coach and author of Never
Eat Alone, a book about the power of relationship building and networking.
It helps you find jobs, recruit talent, win new customers and discover investors
who'll support your ideas.

But networking is a trial for shy people - geeks especially. They view it as
insincere at best, manipulative at worst. They eschew networking for a variety
of reasons including lack of confidence, fear of rejection and a sense of unworthiness.

If they could just relate to others more easily, if they just possessed more
self-confidence and weren't such self-conscious wallflowers, the world would
be their oyster, and schmoozing would be so much easier.

It is possible for shrinking violets and shy guys to master the skill of networking.
They just have to realize, says Ferrazzi, that successful networking is all
about building intimate, sincere relationships based on mutual generosity, not
duplicity, and that they can't achieve their career goals on their own. They
have to network their way to success.

If you're struggling to meet new people, here's some common-sense advice for
increasing your networking mojo.

Start Small

If the idea of approaching people you don't know intimidates you, begin your
networking efforts by seeking out familiar faces, such as relatives and friends.

"You can do a significant amount of valuable networking without ever having
to make a cold call," says Lynne Sarikas, the director of Northeastern
University's MBA Career Center. "Starting with a known [contact] instead
of an unknown demystifies the [networking] process and helps get a shy person
over the hurdle." A series of successful conversations will make you more
confident in the process, Sarikas adds.

A logical next step after talking with friends and family is to pursue individuals
who graduated from your college. Your alumni network can be a gold mine of connections,
says Sarikas. It exists for the purpose of networking, so contacting an alum
out of the blue shouldn't feel like a cold call. After all, they joined the
network to make and take such calls.

Stop Apologizing

Introverts and inexperienced networkers often apologize when asking for an
individual's help because they see networking as an imposition, not as an exercise
in relationship building, says Sarikas.

"They feel like they're asking someone to do them a favor. They don't
think they're worth someone else's time so they're apologizing for it,"
she says.

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