March 05, 2010, 2:38 PM — The diversity of Tweeple on Twitter is, of course, what makes it so damn compelling and addictive: There's always somebody, somewhere offering 140-characters' worth of communication.
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Most of us can be classified into a Twitter user category, and just for fun, CIO.com tried to categorize the different types of Twitter users: those we love, those we hate, and those we love to hate. (You can stop following someone, you know.)
Image: Shovelling Son
Mr. Politico Explainer: You're just trying to find out what this person thinks about, say, marketing strategies or CRM software. Next thing you know, you've got the second-coming of Rush Limbaugh or James Carville on your Tweetdeck. Buzzwords: Obama, Palin, Cheney, Bush, Hillary, Palin, Beck, Olbermann, Clinton Typical Tweet: "I wish Cheney had been president" or "This would never have happened during Bill's 8 years in office"
The Quote-erator Explainer: Whether a "serial entrepreneur" or a budding exec, this self-proclaimed titan never read a quote related to business that wasn't worthy of a tweet. Buzzwords: Jack Welch, Warren Buffett, Six Sigma, Steve Jobs, Andrew Carnegie, Peter Drucker Typical Tweet: "Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming." -Richard Branson
RT-egoista Explainer: Naturally, every Twitterer loves it when another retweets (RT) his tweets. But the RT RT'er takes it too far: He constantly RT the tweets of others who RT his stuff. (Get it?) Buzzwords: Me, me, me, me, me, me, me Typical Tweet: RT @johndoe: RT @memememe New blog post: "10 Must-Read Bloggers" including me, of course :-) RT and check my blog out!!
DJ Tweet Explainer: It wasn't cool before Twitter came along, when this guy would go on and on to anyone in earshot about his unparalleled knowledge of music and obscure artist greatness. But it got exponentially worse with Twitter. Buzzwords: Buffalo Tom, LP, Kate Bush, Rufus Wainright, vinyl, Elliott Smith Typical Tweet: "Check out this lost track from the Pixies " or "Don't miss Arcade Fire's show at the Orpheum. I'll be there."
The "I'm Back!" Tweeter Explainer: This serial tweeter has to tweet everyone to announce that he's been away for 15 minutes and is now back at his desk. If he's been gone a day, multiple tweets remind of us of his absence. Great. We really missed you. Buzzwords: lunch, at gate, parking lot, walk, gym, admirals club, coffeeeeee Typical Tweet: "Wheels down, Austin. Must find Starbucks"
The Firehose Explainer: For this person, there's never been a random thought or self-aggrandizing quip not worth tweeting to the masses. Their motto: It's All Good! Buzzwords: hair dryer, TV, mom, bread, boss, fingernails, "Lost" Typical Tweet: "My dog is soooooo cute" or "I wonder what the expiration date is on that yogurt I bought yesterday?"
Over the Line Tweeter Explainer: You thought you discovered some amazing content from a new Twitter user. You start following this person...and then have a "WTF was I thinking moment?" Not only are the tweets NSFW, they're NSFC (convicts). Buzzwords: abortion, gay marriage, genocide, porn, racism, terrorism Typical Tweet: Block that twitter user before you see any more!
Celebrity Stalker Explainer: She wants fervently to be mentioned or RT'ed by @aplusk (Ashton Kutcher at 4.6 million followers) or @johncmayer (John Mayer at 3.1 million). Buzzwords: dreamy, Lindsey, funny, handsome, cool, awesome, Paris and Perez Typical Tweet: "@perezhilton @aplusk and @johncmayer are tweeting right now. cool! @britneyspears: love UR new look! :-)"
Shy Sally Explainer: It took her four anxiety-ridden months to join and her thoughtful "pros/cons" list went on for a dozen pages. (The pros narrowly edged out the cons.) Picking an icon is still a work-in-progress. Total tweets in one year: 7. Buzzwords: Cats, Jonas Brothers and RT (because usually too scared to tweet anything original) Typical Tweet: "Any PSU alums watching the game tonight?"
