February 13, 2013, 4:21 PM — Regular readers of TY4NS may remember last week I wrote about Tallygram, a service that helped you find Facebook friends you don’t want to sleep with. Well, today I’ll be talking about the opposite.
Bang With Friends is designed with one thing in mind – to hook you up with your secret Facebook crush – in as simple and brainless a way as humanly possible. What better time to install it than on Valentines Day?
Before I installed BWF, however, I forced one of my test Facebook accounts to undergo a sex change operation. (It’s not really necessary for testing BWF, but I needed to do it for something else I’m researching – more on that in a future post.) Then I installed BWF on my newly feminine fake profile, as well as on an older fake female profile.
How BWF works is simplicity itself. Install the app, and it shows you pictures of your friends (male, female, or both). Click the bar under the names of the ones you want to bang.
Here’s the rub: Your secret crush will find out you’re in the mood to do the deed only if he or she also installs BWF on their Facebook account. Otherwise, nothing happens. If they do install the app, though, it will send a message to their login email from “firstname.lastname@example.org" that looks something like this:
To protect the delicate sensibilities of my readers, I cut some of the more prurient bits of that message. As if we needed more proof that the Internet is being run by high school sophomores. (And thank God for that – finally, a place where I fit in.)
Once you and your crushette have acknowledged your mutual passion, as they like to say on daytime television, you can chat via the app and arrange a meeting.
So now we have a Brazilian supermodel just aching to hook up with Megan Fox dressed as a nun. Does it get any hotter than that? I don’t think so.
BWF also lists running tallies of celebrities whom people want to bang. As of this writing, Jon Stewart is leading Stephen Colbert by the slimmest of margins.