The Weekly Hash - March 29, 2013

Having some fun at the expense of this week’s top tech newsmakers, this week featuring astronauts having a quick rendezvous, a Google exec having a midlife crisis and one teenager having a very good week

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17 year-old Summly founder Nick D'Aloisio has hit the jackpot

Image credit: ITworld/Phil Johnson

Happy Good Friday! It's especially good if you’re a 17 year-old brainiac who just sold his company to Yahoo for $30 million. Good luck to that kid’s parents trying get him to take the trash out anymore. I guess they can stop funding his college account and he can begin funding their retirement account.

Anyway, sit back now, grab a handful of Peeps and enjoy the following topical tech jokes...

This week Yahoo paid $30 million for Summly, a company founded by 17 year-old Nick D'Aloisio. D’Aloisio said that he would only use the money to buy a pair of sneakers and to outsource his house chores.

T-Mobile CEO John Legere announced on Tuesday that they will now offer no-contract mobile plans. The good news is you can cancel your service at any time without penalty; the bad news is you’ll have to break the news to Legere over an awkward dinner.

The SpaceX Dragon capsule safely splashed down in the Pacific Ocean on Tuesday with 2,600 pounds of trash from the International Space Station. Later this week, a separate capsule containing recycling will splash down.

A study released this week found that the number of U.S. undergraduate students choosing Computer Science as a major is up 29%. The study also found that dating among U.S. undergrads is down 29%.

Happy birthday to Google co-founder Larry Page who turned 40 on Tuesday. You can tell he’s going through a midlife crisis; today he bought Lamborghini.

Microsoft has published a searchable list of the 41,000 patents it owns. You can search their patents based on patent number, patent title, or name of the corresponding Apple product that Microsoft was trying to copy.

Google has begun contacting thousands of people who were chosen to test out Google Glass. Each tester will have to travel to New York, San Francisco or Los Angeles to pick up the device, pay $1,500 for it and have the word “Schmuck” tattooed on their forehead.

Apple announced on Monday that it had acquired WiFiSlam, which has developed indoor mapping technology. Applications for the service include step-by-step indoor navigation, proximity-based social networking and much more accurate Easter egg hunting.

On Thursday three astronauts reached the International Space Station just 6 hours after launch aboard a Soyuz capsule, instead of the two days it usually takes to reach the station. They used a new fast rendezvous technique that was developed by Craigslist users.

Apple has implemented two-factor authentication for iTunes and iCloud accounts. In order to verify that you are an Apple user, you will now need a password and proof that you own at least one pair of skinny jeans. 

OK, time for me to go and start planning some April Fool’s Day jokes to play on my kids. Have a great weekend!

Read more of Phil Johnson's #Tech blog and follow the latest IT news at ITworld. Follow Phil on Twitter at @itwphiljohnson. For the latest IT news, analysis and how-tos, follow ITworld on Twitter and Facebook.

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