April 27, 2012, 4:10 PM — If you’re as sick to death of Klout as I am, you will appreciate Klouchebag.
Like Klout, Klouchebag ranks you based on your “social media influence,” only with Klouchebag “influence” is synonymous with “asshattery.”
Are you a 10-gallon asshat or merely a butt beret? Klouchebag will let you know. Created by UK developer/prankster Tom Scott, K-bag assigns a ranking based on the amount of anger, number of retweets, pointless FourSquare checkins, and use of OMG!!! and other crimes against the English language in your Twitter stream. Per Scott:
Klouchebag uses the ARSE rating system. Anger: profanity and rage. Retweets: "please RT"s, no or constant retweeting, and old-style. Social Apps: every useless checkin on foursquare or its horrible brethren. AndEnglish Usage: if you use EXCLAMATION MARKS OMG!!! or no capitals at all, this'll be quite high.
Klouchebag is dead simple to use. Just plug in your Twitter handle and wait. I earned a 31, leaving me “a bit of a prat” according to the site. Apparently I retweet too much. According to Klout, however, my score is a hair under 49, and I am “effectively using social media to influence [my] network across a variety of topics.”
Guy Kawasaki, who literally has a team of people tweeting on his behalf, scores a scant 13 (or “quite a nice person”) on Klouchebag. Michael Arrington, late of TechCrunch, lands a 59 (“a bit of a douchebag”). Really, I thought he’d be much higher. @KimKardashian nails a 75 (“Mostly noise”). I would have guessed mostly silicone.
On a more social media privacy related note, Scott also created a March 2011 presentation titled “I know what you did five minutes ago,” in which he samples the private information random people shared on sites like Twitter, FourSquare, Wikipedia and Facebook in real time.
His point, of course: be careful what you tweet, post, checkin, etc. Because it’s a lot more revealing than you may think, and one person’s influencer is almost certainly another’s asshat. Or as Scott puts it:
Concentrate on making amazing things, caring about the people around you, and not being a douchebag. If you do that, then you'll soon realise that it doesn't matter one jot what an algorithm thinks of you.
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