Apple now selling iPads, iMacs and friction-stir welding

Based on yesterday’s announcement, Apple has a new marketing strategy: uber-nerdly geek speak

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  • Kepler grahics - Those of you who didn’t cut or sleep through high school physics may recognize the name Kepler. For those who did, just know that, somehow, almost 400 years after his death, he’s helping to make your iMac display better than ever. Thanks, Johannes!

     

  • Plasma deposition - The new thinner iMac display is partly the result of plasma deposition - whatever that is. Even after reading the Wikipedia page on it I still don’t know what this means. But who cares? It sounds cool! Count me - and others - in!

     

  • By this point in the presentation, many of us were appropriately lathered up. They could’ve said the new iMac was powered by a flux capacitor and I - and many others - would’ve bought it.

     

    This is a whole new realm that Apple is entering and it’s pretty clear why: Apple has some stiff competition now, between Google, Amazon and maybe even Microsoft. They need to keep differentiating themselves and standing out. What better way than by using uber-nerdly geek speak to describe their products? 

    Both Google and Microsoft have big events in the next week to announce new products and, if I were them, I’d consider stealing this approach and shoehorning in as many cool (and baffling) sounding engineering and scientific terms as possible. If I may, I’ve assembled a short list of suggested terms to include (whether they’re actually used or not): extrusion molding, huddling chamber, thyristor, brazing, deposition efficiency, flux cored electrodes.

    Of course, there’s no need to restrict yourself to real world terminology. Feel free to get creative! After all, lord knows what Apple will throw at us next time. Impulse drives, anyone?

     

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