The Weekly Hash - January 18, 2013

A semi-serious look back at some of the top tech stories of the week, today featuring Lance Armstrong’s surprising confession to Oprah, a guy outsourcing his own job to China and the Mexican Army getting hacked

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Just when you thought you couldn't think any less of Lance Armstrong...

ITworld/Phil Johnson

Between the Manti Te’o story and the Lance Armstrong/Oprah Winfrey showdown, it’s been one weird week. 48 hours ago, I had no idea what it meant to be “catfished.” I’m still not sure what to do with this information. 

While we await the next round of Lance vs. Oprah, let’s joke about some of the goofy tech stories from this past week - none of which involved imaginary girlfriends of Heisman trophy runner-ups.

[5 very cool (but kinda creepy) mobile technologies and The year in tech: biggest fails, flops, and faux pas]

This week Lance Armstrong confessed to Oprah Winfrey that he used performance enhancing drugs during his career. He said it was the biggest mistake he ever made - aside from buying a Windows Surface tablet.

A developer at an unidentified U.S. company was caught outsourcing his work to China, while he spent his days surfing the Internet. Ironically, after he was fired, the company outsourced his job to China.

A group hacked the website for the Mexican Army this week. The Mexican Army was shocked - they had no idea they even had a website.

Intel announced this week that they’re developing the technology to move data within computers using lasers. The technology involves silicon and lots of Pink Floyd music.

The EPA and the Department of Energy announced this week that tablets will soon receive Energy Star ratings. Experts say this could really put the nail in the coffin of gasoline-powered mobile devices.

Demand for big screen smartphones was predicted this week to more than double this year. Apparently, customers in Asia prefer them because they’re easier for inputting Asian text and Americans love them because they’re better for displaying pictures of their lunches.

A Dutch court ruled on Wednesday that Samsung’s Galaxy tablets don’t infringe on an Apple design. Apple vowed to appeal to a less high court.

Facebook introduced new a search tool on Tuesday called Graph Search. It’s the result of several years of engineering work and about 30 seconds of product naming work.

On Monday Microsoft shipped an emergency update for Internet Explorer to patch a critical security vulnerability. Here’s how serious the vulnerability is: the patch includes one free year of ADT home protection.

The China Internet Network Information Center reported this week that there are now 563 million Internet users in China. That’s more than twice the U.S.’s 245 million Internet users - although, the two countries are about equal in total weight of Internet users.

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