Master Foo and document interchange formats

June 22, 2007, 12:37 PM — Master Foo - as is his habit - was sitting in the lotus position while gazing at his laptop screen. The serenity of the 6 a.m. air was punctuated only by the background mantra-like hum of the laptop's fan as it diligently cooled the (mostly idling) 8 CPUs in Master Foo's entry level laptop. Master Foo visualized the CPUs, balanced atop Plum Blossom Poles, expertly dispatching any computational attacks from the system and then settling back into the peace and tranquility of the nirvana NOP loop.



The perfection of the scene was shattered by the all-too-familiar sound of cellphones, blackberries and palmtops being carried up Pentementi Mountain by a group of visitors seeking an audience with Master Foo. "Sometimes I wonder." Master Foo thought to himself, "Perhaps it is the portable machines that are using humans as convenient evolutionary transport, rather than humans using the machines as convenient computational devices?"



The noise of the approaching group grew louder in Master Foo's ears as his internal thought continued. "Perhaps this group of people approaching me now are being carried up the mountain by their gadgets? Perhaps gadgets are really very smart after all. Their key genius is hiding how clever they really are. Are these gadgets acting like so many Lancet Fluke infecting so many Ants?"



Master Foo parked that potentially interesting like of thought to attend to his now arrived visitors.



"Good morning Master Foo," a spokesperson for the group said. "If you have a moment, we wish to ask your opinion about these two open XML-based formats for document interchange. We have full print-outs of the specifications in this wheelbarrow we have pushed up Pentementi Mountain. We know that you can read and retain entire volumes of information by just flicking the pages and we thought perhaps we would go get a cup of green tea while you read through the few thousand pages ... Basically, we would like to know your opinion as to which is better."



"I do not need to read them," Master Foo announced as he re-arranged the Mei flowers that adorned either side of his laptop monitor.



"Ah, great," said the spokesperson gesturing to the sweat covered wheelbarrow pusher to retreat, so you have already read them? That is great because I have an 8:30 downtown and it would be really excellent if I had the answer for that meeting.



"I have not read them," replied Master Foo.



"Then how do you know that they are wrong?"



"Interchange" is not an attribute of an English language specification. The concept of interchange - the ready ability to move information from one place to another - does not work like that in the general case. It is like the blue of the sky or the sound of a sea wave. It cannot be separated from its environment without destroying it."



"I'm afraid I do not follow Master Foo," the spokesman said.



"Open one of the pages of the specification at random," instructed
Master Foo.



The spokesperson rummaged through the wheelbarrow and opened one
volume at a random page.



"Now what do you see?" asked Master Foo.



"I see XML tags and attributes with text that describe what the
tags and attributes mean."



"That is not what you see at all," proffered Master Foo.



"Yes it is! It says here...," said the exasperated spokesperson.



"Ask yourself this question," Master Foo intoned raising his hand to thwart objections. "Of the myriad of XML elements and attributes in one of those specifications, how many permutations and combinations are possible?"



"Lots. Millions I guess," said the spokesperson.



"Beyond millions," said Master Foo. "An uncountable number of permutations and combinations. Where is the meaning of each of these combinations specified?"



"Um...," said the spokesperson, absentmindedly stroking the Bluetooth gadget in his ear.



"It is not specified in the specifications," intoned Master Foo. "It exists in one place and one place only. That is, in the source code of the application that processes the myriad of combinations. Any other attempts at capturing what the combinations mean are, at best gross over simplifications and at worst, completely wrong."



Master Foo arose from his lotus position and adopted a Single Whip Tai Chi posture. "A fully accurate specification," he continued, "for any interchange format can only be written down if what you write down is precisely the source code for the reference implementation of that specification."