March 03, 2011, 5:51 PM — These two headlines are my favorite bit of self-confirming irony of the day:
If schadenfreude means enjoying the misfortunes of friends, there must be a close tautological relative meaning enjoying the missteps of strangers.
Whatever it is, there are a lot of us rolling in it after reading the able catch from Fortune's Seth Weintraub, who apparently didn't have to work too hard to find the occasional hint of slant on the truth Steve Jobs came out of medical leave to tell during the introduction of the iPad 2, whose biggest selling point, other than looks, is the way it addresses the original iPad's weaknesses.
This should be old news to those of us who realize a lot of us didn't already know much of the Apple mystique was built on empty images and false perceptions caused by the Reality Distortion Field that radiates from Apple CEO Steve Jobs the way a flash in a funhouse mirror lights up a room.
The distortions mentioned in the story aren't even that good. They look less like bent reality than like plain old corporate-marketing lies:
- iPad2 is the "first dual core tablet to ship in volume." Dell and Motorola have been shipping dual-cores in volume for months and the Atrix phone has one as well. iPad hasn't hit shelves yet, so it hasn't shipped in volume no matter what volume you mean.
- Re-use of a mistranslated, misleading debunked quote from Samsung's CEO disparaging sales of the competing Galaxy tablet.
- 90 percent market share – No.
- Pricing – comparing the most expensive Android tablet – Motorola's Xoom, which starts at $600 with WiFi only, and goes for $799 with 3G. The comparable version of iPad 2 is $729. Comparable versions of Dell's Streak and Samsung's Galaxy both start at $499, just like the lowest-end iPad2.
And the other headline? About Apple being one of the most-admired companies?
TechCrunch notes the rating comes from Goldman Sachs, which escaped being prosecuted, possibly broken up and its executives imprisoned for their role in causing the economy to crash and burn only because, as a whole, it was "too big for jail." Of course, it did its bit for the recovery, too, pumping $3.4 billion in legal fees into the economy trying to keep its executives in the Hamptons instead of federal prison.
Make your own decision about much salt you want to take with its opinion on another truth-challenged corporate force of nature.