I'm out of the IM crowd

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I believe use of IM, or Instant Messaging, depends on your generation. If you recognize the song, "I'm In With the In Crowd" by Dobie Gray, you're probably out with the IM crowd. That's OK, I'm out too.

If you like to use popular music as a generational marker, let's look at Woodstock. If you remember Woodstock from 1969, you don't like IM. If you hear "Woodstock" and wonder if it's the one from 1969 or 1999, you may use IM even if you prefer e-mail. If you think Britney Spears is an entertainer rather than an over-hyped marketing creation, you prefer IM over e-mail. Unless you're a young person with good taste.

Speaking of young people, my 15 year old daughter can juggle 10 to 12 IM sessions at once. I recently heard a marketing VP from a corporate IM vendor speak, and he said five to six conversations are all that their users can handle. Does that mean teenage girls are twice as smart as most corporate executives? That's another story for another time.

But why do kids like IM rather than the phone or e-mail? Emoticons clue teens into the intent of the sometimes clumsy statements they read and type. Plus, a dozen ongoing conversations make real life, where you're limited to one or two, seem pretty dull and boring.

Let's not forget the IM names. These can be more creative than CB handles, another generational marker good buddy. You can change your IM handle to match your mood. If you do that with e-mail, your messages won't get through the spam filters because you'll no longer be in the recipient's white list.

Once again, the Internet standards groups failed us. They should have defined an Instant Messaging Protocol, which we could call IMP. Therefore, users of IMP would be called IMPs. If you're a hip hop fan, you could use the Personal Instant Messaging Protocol, or PIMP.

Now that we've defined the generational markers for IM and trashed some pop culture mainstays, the question becomes whether those of us who prefer e-mail should become IMPs. I say no.

If we do, spam will invade IM, and we'll never be able to separate real conversations from spam messages like Viagra, the number 4 and the letter u. Viagra 4 u eh means the drugs come from Canada. But e-mail filters work better than IM filters will, so let's stick with e-mail.

With teens, if you don't respond to IM, you don't exist - the modern version of out of sight, out of mind. When a teen sends an invitation to talk and no one answers, that window slams shut and a new window, with a new friend, opens.

Companies that rely on IM miss an important point: e-mail gives you time to think. An IM question must be answered immediately, cutting your thinking time down to the few seconds it takes to reach for the keyboard. Is that enough time?

Personally, I like e-mail so I have time to digest information, reflect on the question, and maybe go to the bathroom. Being chained to the desk by IM can be uncomfortable, which may be another generational marker if you need to go to the bathroom as often as I do.

In my case, my two kids have great e-mail addresses and they don't care. I have my last name as my domain name, thanks to a somewhat unusual name and a computer illiterate extended family. What's cooler than first name at last name dot com? Yet my teenagers care not.

But there are reasons to learn IM at an advanced, and Woodstock aware, age. I can talk more readily to my son in college via IM than via e-mail. I did, however, train him to start using e-mail by refusing to send money without a written request. Turns out teenagers can use e-mail. Imagine that.

You may have to use IM at work. Mark this up as another chore you don't like but must do for employment, such as laughing at your boss's jokes and restraining yourself from dope slapping coworkers who really, really need to be dope slapped for the good of mankind.

IM customer service does an excellent job in some situations and is cheaper than a phone center, so you may have to join the IM crowd. Or you can hire a few teenagers to watch your IM channels, leaving you free to carefully consider the right answer for e-mail messages, and improving your boss-joke laugh.

If you could IM a physical smiley face to make your boss happy, IM might be worth the trouble. But until then, send me e-mail at james at gaskin.com, because I'm still out of the IM crowd.