SF security must be tightened, as Kardashian Virus attacks Slave Leia image
What will attention-leeches attack next? The Doctor? Will Enterprise meet USS Kardashian in orbit?
The Kardashian must be stopped
The Kardashian Klan – which first invaded porn sites, then gossip sites and newspapers followed, eventually, by the mainstream press, which chose to write about them because everyone else had – has gone too far and must be stopped.
Sister Kim – the most famous for having acted as infiltrator into the gossip pages for the rest of her family, which seethed through the tiny crack she opened in the portal to empty fame – landed a role in sketch for the pilot of a Comedy Central show almost certain to be cancelled before it runs – in which she dressed as the Holy Virgin Mother of Star Wars Fanboys and Jedi co-religionists everywhere: Princess Leia during her rebellious Slave-Girl period.
Kimmy tarted up the outfit a bit, if you can imagine, though it's still very tame compared to current dental-floss-and banana-hammock standards, but the result was not terribly racy nor even unpleasing.
It did, however, cross-contaminate two very powerful Internet Memes whose colloquial meanings clash offensively.
Slave-girl Leia is unquestionably the sexual exploitation of a strong female character: captured, collared, stripped to her undies and made a sex slave to giant slug that couldn't, physically, have the sexual intentions for her the outfit and situation suggest.
The situation gave the producers an excuse to put the very young Carrie Fischer in the most revealing thing they could find, to sell a few more tickets to teenage boys who might only have paid to see the movie three or four times without the suggestive slave scene, rather than six or seven, as many undoubtedly did.
Even a move as blatant and tactless as that is dwarfed by the desperate clawing for attention by the Kardashian Klan – who are so omnipresent in the media for no real reason that they have successfully reversed the role of the paparazzi, becoming the first "celebrities" to stalk their audience rather than the other way around.
It is hard to cheapen the image of a woman chained, half nude, by a collar around the neck, to a gian slug with dishonorable intentions for her, but Kim Kardashian has done exactly that.
Dressed in character-with-dignity drag by dressing as slave-girl-Leia for an appearance in one sketch on the pilot of a Comedy Central show I don't know for certain will be bad, but which features Kanye West and Kim Kardashian acting on the same stage, which reduces the chance of an Emmy nomination.
Among non-celebrities it looks as if more women have worn Slave Leia than not, though that may be an exaggeration. I couldn't object to that. Girl geeks are underrepresented in the kinds of places people wear idiotic costumes, but deserve as much chance at attention as any other geek.
And I'm not offended on religious grounds as a hardcore Star Wars fanboy myself.
I'm as big a fan of the franchise as anyone who realizes its universe is made up mostly of bad movies, bad writing, poor physics and good explosions.
Nevertheless, it forms the forms the basis of a rich fantasy for many, playground for some and even religion to a few.
I object because this latest incursion makes it look a lot more as if there is no corner of show business or the world covered by Paparazzi out of which the Kardashians can be kept.
Besides, as her own Internet meme, Kim Kardashian is literally the embodiment of empty, formless ambition posing as entertainment, of physical attractiveness and chutzpah posing as talent.
Slave Leia is the opposite – the lowest point to which a woman can be brought against her will who was once monarch of an entire planet.
I take for granted that all of Star Wars, let alone the interpretation of Leia, is more shallow than any person who is not a Kardashian, so comparing them based on cultural depth may turn out to be a weak argument.
So would any assumption that the Kardassionization of the Slave Leia image would do lasting damage to either one.
Thousands of other women who are not entertainers go full Slave-Girl every year for Halloween, SF conventions, comic conventions and nerdfests everywhere. (Here's an example that looks as if they're gathering for a rumble of some kind, and another I couldn't quite identify as having been either Borged or Zombified, but who turns out to be the Slave-Girl Leia Terminator.
Mixing memes can be clever, insightful or funny when they're done by normal people – when they're not overused, over-manipulated to try to recreate the impact of the original, or co-opted to get a reaction from us that has nothing to do with the original image.
When it's done by audience-stalking attention whores harder to avoid than a clingy ex-girlfriend on the same campus, not only can you check off each of those sins as Complete, you can be confident it was done in the cheapest, least creative way possible.
Where will she turn up next? Emerging from the Tardis for cameo? Standing very still as the only brunette Weeping Angel wearing a smile and push-up bra? Standing on the bridge of the Galactica with a big smile and spooky stare at the camera whale the fight against Cylons swirls around her?
Delivering pizza to the underground Cardiff headquarters of Torchwood? On the Enterprise? Eureka? Ringworld? The estate of Dr. Frank-N-Furter? Frightening the horse for Frau Blucher in the Castle of the Young Dr. Frankenstein?
Kardashians aren't a meme, people, they're a virus invading the iconic fiction of the tech world. They have to be stopped.
Read more of Kevin Fogarty's CoreIT blog and follow the latest IT news at ITworld. Follow Kevin on Twitter at @KevinFogarty. For the latest IT news, analysis and how-tos, follow ITworld on Twitter and Facebook.