The Weekly Hash - January 4, 2013
A tongue-in-cheek review of tech stories from this first week of 2013, today featuring Mark Zuckerberg getting back to his roots, Google and the FTC making nice and the reason YouTube’s return in Pakistan was so brief

Does the Zuck still have it, coding-wise?
ITworld/Phil Johnson
Happy 2013! Hopefully you’ve gotten the smell of eggnog out of your nose and your new year is off to a great start. In terms of tech news, a lot has already happened in 2013 and - are you sitting down? - much of it involves, Apple, Google and Facebook. Finally, those companies are getting some attention!
Let's kick of 2013 with some topical tech jokes...
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg reportedly helped to write some of the code for their new Poke app. He’s really trying to get back to his roots; he’s also asked Facebook employees to wedgie him and shove him in a locker.
On New Year’s Eve thieves in Paris stole $1.6 million worth of goods from an Apple store. Police said the thieves are to be considered armed and extremely well dressed.
On Thursday, the FTC announced that it had reached a settlement with Google to resolve antitrust claims. The FTC said the negotiations were rough; every time their lawyers started to speak, Google’s lawyers would finish their sentences.
It was reported this week that Apple’s next iPhone will come in a variety of different colors. Apparently, Apple has patented rainbows.
Intel is developing a set-top box to deliver streaming content and cable TV programming. So, someday soon you may find yourself waiting all day for the Intel guy.
A three month ban on YouTube in Pakistan was lifted on Saturday. However, Prime Minister Rehman Malik quickly reinstated the ban after being Rick Rolled.
Tuesday marked the 30th birthday of the modern Internet, when TCP/IP became the primary Internet protocol. Vint Cerf, one of the developers of TCP/IP, celebrated with a whole bunch of really small parties.
Google Chairman Eric Schmidt will be going to North Korea soon as part of a humanitarian mission. A spokesman said there is no business plan for the trip and I’m thinking, isn’t that how they came up with Google Wave?
Adoption of Windows 8 during its first two months of availability was lower than that of Window’s Vista during its first two months. On the plus side, though, Windows 8 sales are way ahead of projected Windows 9 sales.
A new study released this week finds more world leaders than ever are using Twitter. In the U.S. it’s so popular among politicians that earlier today John Boehner tweeted at Harry Reid to “Go f*** yourself.”