Free Game Friday: Dinosaurs, dolphins and unicorns
Beat up the sun and date a dinosaur in this week's free games.
Free Game Friday is no stranger to bizarre games, but this week's collection is maybe even stranger than usual. This week's collection of free games has you playing a music video with thousands of other people, fighting space squids and running around as a majestic unicorn.
In Planet Punch you are a sun that's out beating up the entire universe by using planets to punch things into oblivion. Those things include spaceships, other stars, and eventually even giant space dolphins. I'll repeat that: this game has giant space dolphins and you can use planets to fight them. Gameplay-wise Planet Punch is fairly simplistic, but the bizarreness of the premise and the universe make it worth spending a few hours on.
Do Not Touch
Do Not Touch is a massive multiplayer game that's also a music video. Each time somebody watches Do Not Touch the site tracks your cursor position and gives you various tasks to complete by moving your mouse around the screen, periodically remaking the video to show the cursors of all the people who've played the game over the last few hours. While that might not sound like much of a game, watching thousands of other "players" jump through the tasks influences your behavior in interesting and unexpected ways.
Jurassic Heart is a very traditional dating sim where you get to go out into the world, and try and find romance with a friend from school. Oh, also he's a dinosaur. Besides the giant T-Rex, Jurassic Heart plays its dating sim surprisingly straight which just makes the whole thing all the more ridiculous and enjoyable. Dating a T-Rex has never been this fun, but that's probably because dating a T-Rex has never been in any game ever before. (If somebody in the comments can prove me wrong about that I'll be thrilled beyond measure.)
No-one Has to Die
No-one Has to Die is party text adventure, part puzzle game and if that weren't odd enough its title is also a total lie. Almost from the moment you begin it becomes obvious that somebody has to die. And, in fact, a lot of them are going to die as you play through the game. Who you let survive influences the story and to get the whole picture you'll need to guide everybody to safety at least once. That's where the story gets really weird.
Retro Unicorn Attack
Any other week Retro Unicorn Attack would probably be the weirdest game on my Free Game Friday list. To be honest with you though, after some of the other games on the list playing as a unicorn with a magical rainbow dash that's jumping from flying platform to flying platform doesn't seem all that strange. It still seems fun though.