Technology to help you survive the end of the world

If you aren't Raptured, a nice Leatherman and good flashlight might brighten up a dark future

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The NYT ran a piece last month predicting the Rapture for the "high-tech elite" would actually be the Singularity genius/gadfly Ray Kurzweil has been predicting as the near-term goal for those who want to combine the best of the technical world with the best of the natural (or those with a cyborg fetish).

If you were trying to take practical precautions, you'd think the best advice would come from documentaries like Zombieland, the Zombie Survival and Defense Wiki, or official guides like Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse, published May 16 by the Centers for Disease Control, which apparently knows something the rest of us don't.

Ensconced in GeekLand rather than Zombieland, however, I can pass along an innovatively crass promotional effort from TOA Technologies – which provides disaster planning and recovery based in its cloud service, with promises of one-hour recovery at 98 percent accuracy, not to mention these luxury features designed for the enterprise (since TOA is apparently more concerned with the survival of your data center, rather than you):

Triple-tiered remote hosting, for when the first two tiers become clogged with the zombie bits;

Human guards to shoo away the undead;

Remote-sensing technology in case the undead are too icky;

Remote monitoring of the hosting center and help desk, available 24x7x365xEternity;

Self-contained power (presumably from generators, not ancient, infernal magic), environmental control and communications.

The multi-day outage at Amazon's EC2 that brought down a host of high-profile companies did remind a lot of people that disaster recovery that lives outside the cloud is a good idea both for traditional IT and as a backup in case the cloud itself evaporates in a blast of sulphurous heat.

If the world really does end tomorrow, I think I'd be as likely to take advice from this site detailing the prophecies and unpleasant future ahead for me, about which Leatherman multi-tool to choose than I would from my colo provider.

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