Programmer personality types: 13 profiles in code

By Peter Wayner, InfoWorld |  Software

The Future CIO is keen to always seem ready to help, but if you push for more than a quick scan of a document, they'll resort to their favorite programming pattern: delegation. "This is probably better handled by Chris over there."

For the Future CIO, everything is an organizational argument made up of subpoints about skill sets, procurement, and process.

Car: Expensive lease
Relationship status: Applying Kanban principles to stalking the boss's daughter
Household chore: Recharging the iPad
Role model: Steve Jobs
Pet: "You think my hair just does this itself?"
Favorite programming construct: UML
Drink: What the CEO is having

Programming personality type No. 4: The Old Guard

If a problem comes up, they say, "We solved that years ago with Multics" or some other long-dead pile of code. They too often reminisce of the days when there were only one or two bugs because the entire program was just a few bytes long. And how they could toggle in their code in less time than it takes your fancy machine to boot and churn through all of the startup code and virus checks.

The real Old Guards like to point out that their favorite computer didn't need to boot because the iron-core memory didn't shut down when the power disappeared. They can talk for hours about how they would take a 2KB array of iron core over a 2GB stick of RAM any day. After all, most hassles that database programmers endure are problems simply because the RAM fails when the power disappears. The old iron-core machines never needed to worry about transactions or synchronization algorithms because iron-core just worked.

Car: Pacer
Relationship status: Married to high school sweetheart
Household chore: Studying a home's history by looking at the molding
Role model: John Adams
Pet: "Those are Fido's ashes next to my grandmother's on the mantle."
Favorite programming construct: JZ EQU
Drink: Old Fashioned

Programming personality type No. 5: The Dynamic Typist

If really pushed, lovers of dynamically typed languages will admit that, yes, the troubles of the Middle East and the potential dangers of climate change are worse than having to specify the type of data that will be stored in a variable. But they really would like to avoid being pinned down or constrained. Choosing a type closes doors, and closing doors brings them that much closer to death.

Originally published on InfoWorld |  Click here to read the original story.
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