"You want me to do an order on 75 pages tonight? When, unless you're smoking crack, you know that these witnesses are not going to be called?"
-- U.S. District Court Judge Lucy Koh, to Apple attorney William Lee after he presented a 75-page list of 22 witnesses who could be called for rebuttal testimony during a trial in a patent infringement lawsuit against Samsung.
"Your honor, I'm not smoking crack. I can promise you that."
-- Lee's response to Koh.
"I need everyone to stay conscious during the reading of instructions, including myself, so we're going to stand up occasionally to make sure the blood is still flowing."
-- Judge Koh before the final day of arguments in the Apple-Samsung trial.
"HP will be 70 in 2014."
-- Whitman during HP's annual shareholder meeting, saying that her job is to set the company up for "the next 70 years," repeating a line she'd apparently become fond of as she sought to amp up enthusiasm for the company.
"I believe HP was founded in 1939."
-- An unidentified shareholder, correcting Whitman's math, to note that HP passed its 70th birthday already and would be 75 in 2014.
"For three or four months, I've been telling people we're going to set HP up for the next 70 years because we're 70 years old, and you're the first person to correct me on that, so thanks very much."
-- Whitman's response.
"Is there a catch I need to be aware of?"
-- U.S. District Court Judge William Alsup to attorneys in the Oracle-Google lawsuit after Oracle agreed to "zero" damages.
"This is by far the most careful and well-written opinion on software copyright I've ever read. I will be astonished if it is not upheld on appeal."
-- Santa Clara University School of Law professor Tyler Ochoa, giving his opinion of Judge Alsup's ruling in the Oracle-Google lawsuit.
"If it hadn't been for the Tokyo earthquake, Sharp might still be making mechanical pencils."