Let's Laugh About Printers

Printer jokes are hard to find, so add your own

I found six printer jokes on the Web, and here's the best: The printer is comprised of three main parts; the case, the jammed paper tray, and the blinking red light. I'm betting that's a recycled joke about copiers. What do you think? Now let me show you mine (printer jokes, of course). ** The laser cartridge and ink jet cartridge sales guys met at a bar. After two drinks, the ink jet sales guy was face down on the floor. “What happened to him?” asked the bartender. The laser guy said, “The ink jet cartridge guy can't hold much fluid at all.” ** A blonde called IT support and said, “my printer isn't working.” After checking through a remote connection for a while, the IT guy said, “You may need a new printer driver.” “Oh, no,” replied the blonde. “Don't tell me that. Our printer driver is so cute.” “Cute? What do you mean cute?” “Our printer driver has dark hair, green eyes, works out, has this cute dimple...” The tech couldn't figure out what she was talking about. “What do you mean your printer driver has a cute dimple?” “You know, our printer driver. The delivery guy from Staples who brings our printers.” ** Top 10 Things To Do with a Broken Printer Put it in a vice president's office. They'll never know it doesn't work. Coerce it with a baseball bat. Sell tickets and let others coerce it with a baseball bat. Tell your boss someone put in ink cartridges full of invisible ink. Pull the laser part out and try to blast Klingons. See if it floats in the fountain in front of the building. Take it to the gun range for target practice. See if it bounces when you throw it off the roof. Leave it in the backseat of an unlocked car and track how long before it's stolen. Paint it gold and call it a sales award. ** A man about to propose to his girlfriend showed a coworker the engagement ring. Proudly, he told him, “This ring cost me $2000.” “Wow,” answered his friend. “I haven't paid so much for something so small since I last bought color ink jet cartridges.” ** Practical joke – tape a page with a black design to the lid of a multi-function printer. The black design will bleed through everything copied, and it may take some users forever to figure it out. Clue the help desk first level support team so they know what's going on. Oh, and don't let the local “we're green so save your paper” fanatic get involved. If he or she does, tell them you're increasing recycling. ** Note: printing copies of money with a high-end color printer/scanner is not a practical joke but a felony. Bribing an arresting officer with a crisp, new, $100,000 bill won't make anyone laugh, either. Well, maybe the judge. ** Printer scavenger hunt – in a company with lots of printers, prepare a page, open the choose printer dialog, close your eyes so you can't see which printer you choose, then click print. You and your friends try to find the printout before a manager does. ** Add your own jokes in a comment. If you want more printer jokes, put that in a comment, too.

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